A cornfield filled with zombies, an entire map plastered with John Cena's face, and a bizarre restaurant called Greg's provide the foundation for an increasingly ridiculous Call of Duty: Black Ops III Zombies session. What begins as a casual experiment with unusual custom maps becomes a chaotic multiplayer adventure filled with strange discoveries, relentless enemies, and wildly inappropriate conversations. The entertainment comes less from polished gameplay than from watching a group of friends struggle through questionable map designs while finding increasingly absurd ways to entertain themselves.
The opening corn map establishes the session's unpredictable atmosphere, although it offers little beyond the novelty of fighting zombies surrounded by high-resolution corn. The players quickly recognize its limited appeal, joking about corn dogs and questioning why so much of the environment exists when the action remains concentrated in one area. An attempted transition to a pig-themed map fails when the level refuses to work, creating an awkward interruption before the group settles on something considerably stranger. These early segments demonstrate both the charm and frustration of exploring custom content without knowing whether the maps will function properly.
The John Cena map becomes an unexpected highlight through its commitment to a single ridiculous concept. Nearly every surface features the wrestler's image, producing increasingly distorted textures, oversized faces, and rooms that seem designed around visual absurdity rather than conventional architecture. The players enthusiastically embrace the joke, inventing increasingly elaborate descriptions of the surroundings while attempting to unlock doors, locate hidden targets, and access the Pack-a-Punch machine. Their confusion over the map's progression adds genuine comedic value, particularly when they discover that shooting concealed figures opens previously inaccessible areas.
Much of the humor depends on spontaneous exchanges rather than structured jokes. Conversations wander from wrestling references and imaginary John Cena gaming habits to bodily functions, medical procedures, and deliberately outrageous observations. The group's chemistry is evident in how quickly participants build upon one another's remarks, frequently turning minor gameplay incidents into extended comedic routines. However, the constant profanity, sexual humor, and repeated jokes targeting people with disabilities create a significant accessibility problem. Some exchanges feel unnecessarily mean-spirited, and the reliance on shock value occasionally overwhelms the more inventive situational comedy.
The transition to Five Nights at Greg's introduces a more ambitious and substantially more punishing experience. The restaurant-themed environment combines references to Five Nights at Freddy's, Baldi's Basics, Family Guy, and other internet culture with aggressively loud weapons, strange character models, and dangerous enemies. The group struggles with confusing layouts, cramped bathrooms, unexpected attacks, and enemies that move surprisingly quickly even during early rounds. A particularly memorable sequence involves a sweeping character that pushes players around the environment, transforming an otherwise ordinary encounter into a frantic survival challenge. The absurd presentation remains entertaining, but the overwhelming sound effects and constant shouting make some stretches difficult to follow.
Greg's also provides the session's strongest gameplay progression. After discovering a safe room and collecting three bodies for disposal, the players receive increasingly unusual restaurant orders, including an extra-salty pretzel, a fresh fish, and a person in a jar. Completing these tasks unlocks access to a bunker and a mission involving a signal jammer and radio tower. These objectives give the group something more substantial to pursue than simply surviving waves of zombies, and their collaborative problem-solving becomes genuinely engaging. Unfortunately, unclear instructions, confusing navigation, and frequent interruptions make the objectives harder to understand than necessary, while the increasingly aggressive enemy spawns eventually bring the attempt to an exhausting conclusion.
The final bunker encounters deliver some of the session's most intense moments as the group desperately attempts revives, manages limited ammunition, and struggles against multiple powerful enemies. Their increasingly frantic communication captures the excitement of cooperative Zombies gameplay, especially when a seemingly impossible escape or successful revival briefly restores hope. Yet the experience ultimately becomes more exhausting than rewarding, with the players abandoning Greg's after roughly two and a half hours of playing. The closing acknowledgment that the simpler John Cena map was the session's winner neatly captures the contrast between the two experiences: greater complexity does not necessarily produce greater entertainment.
Pros
- The John Cena map delivers memorable visual comedy through its absurdly repetitive textures, distorted images, and unconventional layout.
- Natural group chemistry produces entertaining improvisation, running jokes, and amusing reactions to unexpected gameplay situations.
- Five Nights at Greg's offers surprisingly elaborate objectives involving body collection, restaurant orders, a bunker, and a signal-jamming mission.
- Cooperative survival sequences feature genuine tension, difficult revives, and satisfying moments of teamwork.
- Unexpected enemies, strange character designs, and unpredictable custom-map mechanics create a steady supply of memorable discoveries.
Cons
- Repeated disability-related insults, crude sexual jokes, and excessive shock humor limit the entertainment's broader appeal.
- The opening corn map offers little meaningful gameplay variety, while the failed pig-map attempt interrupts the session's momentum.
- Extremely loud weapon effects, overlapping conversations, and frequent shouting sometimes make the action difficult to follow.
- Confusing objectives and poorly communicated progression requirements cause extended periods of aimless searching.
- Greg's aggressive enemy spawning and punishing difficulty eventually turn an entertaining challenge into a frustrating experience.
An entertaining but uneven custom Zombies adventure that succeeds through unpredictable map designs, lively group chemistry, and moments of genuinely exciting cooperative gameplay. The John Cena section delivers the most consistent comedy, while Greg's offers greater ambition at the expense of clarity and pacing. Excessive crude humor, chaotic audio, and frustrating difficulty prevent the session from reaching its full potential, but fans of unfiltered multiplayer gaming will still find plenty of memorable moments.
